Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.