tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Couch. On fire.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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