Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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