An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Sex in the backyard? Check.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
