The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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