Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
