the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
