Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You are the jesus of drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize