Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
