So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
