My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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