even my farts smell like vagina
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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