Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
