Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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