You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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