Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
