You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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