Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
