All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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