she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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