Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
