Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
