Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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