OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
