i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
