so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
