Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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