just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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