I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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