If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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