I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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