I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
