i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
