then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
where am i from again
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
