Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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