Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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