I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
