it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
