Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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