You smell like a Billy Joel song
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize