Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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