I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
