I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Randomize
