i jhust puked up my retainher.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
