She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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