just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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