a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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