My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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