Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
