Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
