He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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