i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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