??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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