Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.

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  (703): worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma. http://tfl.nu/3aau
  Replies (5) Good night (666) Bad night (3771)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Take that integrity

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  (216): So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever. (1-216): Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment. (216): Take that integrity http://tfl.nu/eyzw
  Replies (48) Good night (3138) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  what happened last night?

  (917): View more from New York City

  u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style

  (718): View more from New York

  that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left

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  (718): what happened last night? (917): u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style (718): that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left http://tfl.nu/i3a9
  Replies (39) Good night (14399) Bad night (1180)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food

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  (403): He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food http://tfl.nu/demt
  Replies (20) Good night (3654) Bad night (1483)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning

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  (818): well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning http://tfl.nu/ywc2
  Replies (18) Good night (4675) Bad night (2368)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.

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  (920): I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice. http://tfl.nu/yj17
  Replies (3) Good night (1036) Bad night (2000)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?

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  (614): You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right? http://tfl.nu/6ebj
  Replies (10) Good night (3088) Bad night (1061)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...

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  (772): He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off... http://tfl.nu/s4wu
  Replies (3) Good night (1615) Bad night (1179)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.

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  (518): Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass. http://tfl.nu/ms9b
  Replies (25) Good night (1608) Bad night (1498)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  All I want is tacobeell and your body

  (1-925): View more from California

  that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.

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  (925): All I want is tacobeell and your body (1-925): that's my favorite sentence you've ever said. http://tfl.nu/3boc
  Replies (8) Good night (2938) Bad night (1072)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.

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  (608): Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice. http://tfl.nu/it3i
  Replies (4) Good night (537) Bad night (1135)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.

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  (443): He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us. http://tfl.nu/2gzn
  Replies (7) Good night (1090) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did

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  (509): So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did http://tfl.nu/hjy4
  Replies (2) Good night (1399) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.

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  (307): Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry. http://tfl.nu/ia83
  Replies (1) Good night (508) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs

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  (248): and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs http://tfl.nu/ioh9
  Replies (4) Good night (722) Bad night (272)

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