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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  this medicine is soooo good.

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• (805): View more from California

  My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  "Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Haha how much did you smoke

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  4 feet of smokeee!

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (856): View more from New Jersey

  So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  ... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?

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  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Great news I took pics last night

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk

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• (518): View more from New York

  ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens

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• (239): View more from Florida

  Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.

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