I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
